Can you hear me now? That’s a question that many laugh and joke about because of the well known commercials on television. It’s about getting a good enough signal to talk on a cell phone and how one cell phone offers better service than another.
Why not offer the service of listening to our fellow man? Yet, so often, we are too caught up in the things we want to say and we don’t actually hear the things others are saying to us.
This is the sad truth.
The older I get the smarter my mom was. My mom said “God gave you two ears and one mouth.”
Listen more than you talk. Actually, there is more to it than that.
What do we have to say for ourselves? We could call it self absorption. Like most things in life if we are not taught the correct way to do a thing we will do it by default which is usually totally incorrect.
Developing good listening skills and learning to listen can improve friendships, gather more friends, and has been called one of the secrets to a happy life.
When we listen with a purpose a new life opens up to us. Learn this skill well and it will reward you greatly.
Some listening tips if person to person
1. Lean forward in your chair
2. Look the person in the face
3. Concentrate on what is being said
4. Look for body language/movements-beyond the words
5. Listen for content and emotions
6. Repeat what the person says
7. Do not allow interruptions and do not interrupt.
8. State your opinions
Tips for telephone listening.
1. Do not multi task.
2. Do take notes if possible
3. Do not interrupt
4. Concentrate on what is being said.
5. Repeat back what was stated to insure you got it correct.
6. State your opinions only after they have finished.
Listening doesn’t mean you sit still, look in the direction of the person, and never speak a word. It does mean you hear what they are saying. Hearing takes more than a pair of healthy ears. It means you tune in. Pretend like you have radio tuners built into your head, you have to train yourself to tune in to that’s person’s frequency. Based on what they are saying, you should have a response.
“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” Larry King.
When you don’t have anything else to give, listen. Listening is like giving someone a surprise wrapped up in a pretty box. As they begin to talk to you and they see you are hearing what they have to say, they open the box a little more until they are totally exposed before your eyes.
In the act of listening, you have given something precious to a person who will cherish the time you spent with them.