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Written and experienced by Nell Elliott
As my friends and family know I had an experience in late 2012 and the beginning of 2013 that had a deep and sobering effect on me. I looked up the two words, effect and affect, to understand which one to use in this case.
The electronic Merriam-Webster dictionary says: Affect: verb. To be fond of using or wearing. Simulate, assume, pretend. Effect: noun. Meaning, intent, appearance, influence, the quality or state of being.
I had three surgeries within 6 weeks. No details. Aren’t you glad. What I want to bring to your attention is that even though I have no memory of the events or recall of any pain…I apparently was not present, at all. I saw no visions. I did not visit anyone on the ‘other’ side.
The pace maker I have was in service for 11 days, in January. It’s function is to kick in when my heart slows to a rate that is not healthy or when the rate is too fast to support life. My thoughts of that time (11 days) has to do with where or what was I doing other than lying in an unconscious state in the hospital.
During my month of Rehab at a local recovery hospital I had time to ‘be still’ and let the ‘silence’ be my guide. I had no concerns or questions about the missing awareness. The concerns I had had were no longer present. Without doubts, worries and dilemmas I found I was content. I found I could spend time looking at the landscape outside my window and then become aware of the passing of hours.
The fact of ‘wasting time’ or ‘burning daylight’ as Dr. Phil often says, had no judgement attached. It was easier not to try to explain my ‘state of being’ as no one was in touch with that emptiness or had ever been disconnected from negative feelings. The AFFECT I mused over, earlier. Think of that for a moment. To be free of negative responses is as foreign and unusual as wearing a diving suit on land.
I have been widowed since 2000. I was well acquainted with living alone. Well, my constant companion was all the negative thoughts that occupied the chair I sat in, the bed in which I slept and, also sat in the passenger seat of my car. These cozy partners were so common that my friends and I talked about them, only! I noticed that joyous events were told in a dramatic tone that let me know that ‘peace’ was not present.
I added that to my discomfort, never did I understand that I could do something about that habit of complaining.
One of my visitors at the hospital was,first, a person who passed by my door on her way to see her life long friend in the next room. After a few waves at each other she came in.
I said something as meaningless (to her) as ‘I was still alive’. She came close to me and hugged me and said with authority…”honey, God knows what he is doing. If God kept you here, He has work for you to do. Every time you complain you are feeding the devil”. She was/is an angel in disguise. I know! Her words pushed me over the brink, (no kidding) into contentment. I am grateful to her, every day.
Come to Sisters Safe Talk for more good times. Second and fourth Tuesday mornings…10:00. There you will find reason to laugh.
written by Nell Elliott
There are many people on this planet we inhabit who are soft, gentle and kind. Kind most of all. We all have had days when a person spoke a few words to us and lifted us up and we felt better. It could have been you who spoke words to another person who needed to hear them.
Each day people cross our paths who are in pain, we know this because all of us carry burdens all our own. A few caring words spoken can infer a new beginning, a new thought string that leads to solving a problem, a fresh path to look into or perhaps a good feeling to ease the heavy, full and overwhelming feeling for a time.
Appreciating thoughtful acts are inborn in all of us especially when we are exposed to the opposite. How did you feel the last time someone scowled at you? What happened to your mood the last time someone cut you off in traffic and could have caused severe problems to you and your passengers? What happened to your good mood when someone screamed to you or was impatient with your actions, especially when you are doing your very best. Remember how you felt…
“To belittle, you have to be little.” -Khalil Gibran, the Prophet
I remember when I was in school we were rough and tough on each other, we joked about each other, talked about each other and it was all in jest. We knew our class mates cared about us. Today it is so important that we teach our children the value of kindness to another person and how this will carry them very far in life with an abundance of friends and business associates alike. Our children must learn to be kindhearted to other children especially if they are different.
Other ways to express considerate feelings that are critical is to show thoughtfulness toward our environment and this magnificent planet by not polluting – loving our pets and showing gentleness toward them by giving them fresh water and food daily. By all means be good to yourself. Lighten up if you make a mistake, it is human to do so. Be good to the body you inhabit. It is precious.
Acts of kindness need not be some giant gesture, or a large sum of money given. A kind act is as simple and urgently needed as a smile that says, “I accept you.” When you smile at another person and they smile back it gives a good feeling to both parties and they give this good feeling to other people they meet. It continues to vibrate outward. What can compete with this?
“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Mother Teresa
Most people never think about being kind because for most it comes naturally. There are times when we are overawed with our burdens and we forget how important it is to show compassion to others. It is at these times we need to be especially thoughtful and gentle toward other people because it comes back to us and give us the support we need.
Being kind is as simple as a pleasant conversation, an encouraging few words, a phone call expressing concern and care, a letter, an email, listening completely with your body and a smile. If being kind is not natural, be deliberate about it. With practice it will become a part of who you are.
“Anytime I perform an act of kindness, a part of me heals.”
- Lupi Ngcayisa
There are thousands of ways you can express random or deliberate acts of kindness to other people and creatures alike.
Be kind, it boomerangs back to you forcefully.
One day an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said “My son the battle is between two wolves that dwell in each of us.” One is EVIL. It is anger, envy, jealously, sorrow, regret, self pity, greed, resentment, arrogance, inferiority, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” The grandson thought for a minute, then asked his grandfather “Which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, “The One You Feed!
Today I feel like I am pulled in 50 different directions.
Immediately you understand this feeling, don’t you? I feel anxious inside and out. I feel the urgent need to do more than one thing at this time. I feel slightly depressed because I know I cannot begin to do all that needs to be done. I have all of these ideas and thoughts going through my mind. Where do I start? How do I start? How did I get into this situation? How do I get out? I am paralyzed. I want to do nothing but sit and maybe contemplate or sleep or wish it away. I do none of those things.
Well… the first thing I did was take a few deep breaths and say to me as I breathe in “calm” and as I breathe out “relax.”
As I did this I went to my special place in my mind that has a calming effect on me and stayed there for a few minutes. When I came out of my relaxation I felt somewhat better or should I say better able to figure out how to tackle the monumental number of tasks I had to do.
After my relaxation I could see a bit clearer and I grabbed a tablet and began to write all of my thoughts on paper thinking just get those thoughts out of my head now. As I do this I do feel even better. My thoughts are sorted into tasks and I narrowed those tasks down even further into bite size manageable projects and gave those projects time limits and placed contacts and phone number I would need for assistance and collaboration.
If I needed a system to help me I would design something simple. An example would be this: When I get on the internet time flies by for me. We know time goes like it always does therefore, my system is to use a timer and when my timer goes off I am off the internet and I move on to another project and task. This is an easy and simple system to keep me on time for my projects. You can design your own. Keep it simple.
I began to place the items in order of importance. I organized and planned for 3 months and plan to do the next three months very soon. It is quite a list. I realized I could defer some items to the future and this was quite a relief for me.
As I worked on this list I began to feel so much better. I feel empowered. I thought this was strange because I had not performed any of the tasks that was consuming my mind and driving me insane.
After the list was made I began to chip away at it. I paid my immediate bills first; I had put this off for a few days not knowing why I did until now. I know this seems like a no brainer but you must understand I was paralyzed with so much on my plate to chaw away at as my grandpa John would say.
The second thing I did was hire a coach to assist me with my e-books. I knew not to overload myself and only wrote as daily tasks what I knew for sure I could manage only pushing myself a little and doing more if possible.
When I got through this episode of desperation I wondered what other things I could have done to help get me moving. This is what I came up with.
- I could have taken a short walk. The temperature was in the 50’s ideal for walking and thinking. Walking also helps to divert or distract my thinking sometimes, I come with excellent solutions to challenges I am facing.
- Talk to a friend, I did this and it was helpful.
- I could read a chapter in a book as a diversion.
- I could go to a movie.
- I could write about my experience and this is what I did. Journaling works as well.
We all have times when life piles up and then add more stuff and we need a way or a tool to sort things to be done out. Use these techniques quickly to get moving again and get unstuck. These are simple ideas and they work.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
T is for the trust the pilgrims had so many years ago
H is for the harvest the settlers learnt to grow
A is for America, the land in which we live
N is for nature and beauty which she gives
K is for kindness, gentle words, thoughtful deeds
S is for smiles, the sunshine everyone needs
G is for gratitude… our blessings big and small
I is for ideas, letting wisdom grow tall
V is for voices, singing, laughing, always caring
I is for Indians, who taught them about sharing
N is for neighbors, across the street, over the sea
G is for giving of myself to make a better me
by Judith.A. Lindberg
It is not my fault!
At some point in our lives we all play the blame game, until we learn better. Maybe we do not know any other way. We think it works for us but it doesn’t.
It is easier to blame others for our failures and escape responsibility for our life. It is painful to admit mistakes especially costly ones. Let’s pass the blame on to someone else.
Now, do you feel better?
Unsuccessful people always blame someone else for their situation. In any exchange the words “it is not my fault” always enter into the conversation. When people continue to have failures they continue to play the blame game.
Without taking responsibility for your life and its direction, you are giving your power away to the person who you are blaming. Does this person care about your life? Is this person going to fix your life? Is this person thinking about you and your situation?
I have made many bad decisions and suffered the consequences as well. I accept 100% responsibility for those lousy choices. I learned many lessons about myself and my family as a result of them. I will not repeat them.
- This is one of the most important things I have learned about lessons. If we fail to learn from them, we have a nasty habit of repeating the mistake. The consequences are more devastating each time we do not learn our lessons and more on.
Take complete responsibility for your life and your choices. When choices you make do not happen as desired you are in control and can determine how to react to the incident. You can make a decision to learn from the situation, grow, expand, interact with love ones and hold your faith close to you.
If something bad is happening to you in your life accept that it is happening because of a decision you made and it was an error in your thinking. Know that you thought this way because of the information you had at the time. This difficult situation came to you to teach you a lesson. Learn from it and move forward. Take full responsibility.
This is how to do it:
- Repeat this phrase continually “I am responsible for my life.”
- Decide now to develop a plan to work on eliminating your insecurities. There are many books and CD’s to assist you with this.
- When you find yourself blaming anyone or anything ever again remind yourself that you only make decisions for your life and you only can correct them. Keep your power.
- Stop listening to others make excuses for their life situations.
- Watch what you say to others in conversations as you evolve. You are responsibility no matter what.
- When you blame other are you afraid to look at yourself? Are you really afraid of what you might see? Look long and steady and make the necessary changes to fuel your new life of responsibility.
- Taking responsibility will completely eliminate you desire to hold grudges against others. How freeing is that?
- Don’t blame anyone else for anything. No more why me?
Accept unconditionally that you create your life, you create it, and you are 100% responsible for it. YOU can change it. Drop the victim mentality or stay stuck in fear.
There are so many positive results in store for you when you make the decision to take charge of your life. Make a plan and start now from this point in time.
What seems clearer to me is this is what happens when we pray. Energy (SPIRIT) and matter (US) are coherent, resonate, interact.
He reports that his ‘science’ is being practiced in hospitals and clinics by Doctors and nurses. Wonderful! What a service to those who would never accept this same marvel from books and lectures offered through secular, mundane demonstrators, including scriptures relating healing.
I watched a program on KERA, Channel 13, late a night, titled: “How long is a piece of string”? It was presented by Quantum Physicists explaining to a non-trained inquirer in such a way… I got it. Anyone know how to get a copy of a TV show?
Today is GOOD!
By: Harriette Blye
I am not a medical doctor but, I am in the health care field and I am very observant of what is going on around me.
I noticed that doctors are ordering vitamin D levels on their cancer patients and this piqued my interest. I wanted to know why?
When two friends developed cancer and both had extremely low vitamin D levels. I wanted more information about the correlation between vitamin D and cancer. I understand that vitamin D is important to take with calcium for bone health but I was concerned about the connection with cancer.
This article is not a scientific paper to persuade you to add vitamin D to your diet. I am writing it with the hope that you will give it some thought and do some research of your own. After you have done this you can make an informed decision about adding vitamin D to your health regimes.
How do we get adequate supply of vitamin D? We get it from the sun, diet and from supplements. Being exposed to the sun for 30 minutes a day seems to be sufficient.
The lighter the skin the more vitamin D is absorbed. For darker skin the sun exposure need could be double that of light skin individuals.
How much to take and what should my levels be for protection against disease? Research is all over the place with this one. This is where it gets tricky. The National Institute of Health a government agency, has a Dietary Supplement fact sheet for Vitamin D, click the link below to go there or copy and paste into your browser.
At this site you will find the recommended concentrations of serum vitamin D for your health and what adequate intakes should be.
I will add this. My physician wants my serum levels to be 2-3 times the recommended levels and my daily intake to be 3-4 times the recommended levels by the government agency.
Taking vitamin D has many health benefits to numerous to cover in this article. It is often a neglected vitamin. You could have very serious health consequences if your levels are low.
Do some research, ask your physician to check your vitamin D level. At this time you and your doctor can determine the best action to take for your health.